Today Was the Day I Broke

Today was the day I broke.  I’ve tried to reset my mindset through this whole quarantine, stay at home experience but today… well today nothing worked.  The kids were awful. I’m talking temper tantrums, cuss words, holes in the walls, paint spilled, things broken…and that was just the kids.  It was the worst behavior I’ve ever dealt with from all of them at.the.same.time. And of course, my husband was at work. Now I already knew the cards were stacked against me today.  On top of the obvious overload of togetherness and stress of working from home while attempting to get the kids to work from home, Easter and Jake’s birthday are coming and we can’t celebrate like we planned. For my anxiety kid that hates change, this is a big one.  Add a super pink full moon and them knowing they only have one parent for 24 hours and it’s a recipe for a disaster. Still, my disillusioned self woke up thinking it would be a great, sunny 70 degree day …until it wasn’t.

Luckily, the kids were as worn out as I was and we watched a movie before they finally went to bed. Of course Bryce fought about where to sleep and going to sleep and brushing his teeth and having a headache because I finally had to get some work done, but eventually he crashed.

At 9:30 pm, I began my first project for my new contract.  A company in India. Yes, India. At first I was angry. I should be going to bed, but I pushed through, determined to have something of “me” to show for the day. Determined to meet the deadline and show this new company what I can produce.  I believe my boss woke up and saw all of my panicked messages… I’m trying to grasp this major time difference. But when he joined our platform, I submitted my work. He began praising me, offered a few minor tweaks, and asked me to add some descriptions for the creators that would be turning my scripts and ideas into videos.  After our exchange, he accepted my work and thanked me for coming on board and told me what an asset I will be.  

I share this because, in the midst of all the crazy that was today, I came out all right.  Actually better than all right. It’s late and I’m tired, but I didn’t give up. I didn’t throw in the towel. Tomorrow is a new day, the full moon should (I hope) be weaning off and my husband returns to Team Kevan.  I have a new and challenging contract that I’m pretty excited about which also means income in these crazy times.

As I “zoomed” this same boss in India two days ago (I think it was his night) he too was a disheveled mess, trying to lock himself in his makeshift office working to get our conference call in.  I had to laugh as he continued to mute his side as his son came in to literally climb on top of him many times as we talked. See, he is over in India under a stay at home order, too.

More than ever it is apparent that we are all in this together.  Even across the world parents are managing (or attempting to manage) a huge amount of tasks and expectations.  If you had a day like me and survived, congrats-boy was it a tough one. If your day was amazing, please find someone, anyone and tell them they are doing a great job. Even if it’s a text as you read this at midnight.  Pass on your positive for someone that’s struggling. Let’s keep cheering each other on and picking each other up. Hopefully, if we keep taking turns, we all make it through this together.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *